The California Citrus Craze

In my final full day of R and R in the California desert, I have to admit that I am in no hurry to get back to the Northwest. It seems I timed my stay here perfectly. The temperatures have exceeded the averages for this time of year, my skin has taken on a less than pasty white hue, and I’m nearly done with my second novel (that is, reading not writing!). Give me a few more days and I might forget how to properly write a legal argument too.

Before I head back to the real world, I’d like to express my enjoyment of my time here, in clatter sort of terms. Oh desert living, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways....in what I will call "Notable clatter Desert Moments" (complete with sub-par iPhone-quality photography). I’ll do the countdown in semi-David Letterman form…since everyone in this town goes to bed about four hours before the show airs.

5. California-style shrimp and avocado salad. This Food & Wine-inspired salad paired with a crisp Bogle chardonnay made for a perfect dinner after a shopping spree on El Paseo and during a viewing of the Golden Globes awards. Not only was the salad delicious, it was much prettier to look at than some of the atrocious fashion faux pas of the awards show (ahem, Helena Bonham Carter, I’m looking at you). Wearing two different colored shoes is never ok.

vs.


4. Meyer lemon madness. "When life gives you lemons, make lemon drops!” –my mother. She may indeed have something major here. With the Meyer lemon tree on the property bursting with luscious, yellow goodness, we’ve found a way to incorporate the fruit in many different forms, most importantly perhaps being the inimitable lemon drop. My dad has perfected the art of making this mouth-watering beverage to the point that I’ve nicknamed his creation “toxic lemonade”. Dangerous, dangerous stuff.

3. Crooner at the pool. This one might not be food-related, but I had to incorporate this guy into my list because he made my pool time so much more entertaining. Imagine an old man, fully clothed, ‘80s-style water bottle, cooler, headphones, eyes closed, foot-tapping, sitting next to the pool, oblivious to the fact that there are other people within ear shot – singing, belting even, the tunes pumping through his headphones. He clearly was enjoying himself so much I couldn’t help but laugh at such a ridiculous sight (and sound). Maybe his singing wasn’t the best, but it was either that or my mother's gentle drone, as she dozed off in the chaise lounge next to me (love you, Mom!).

2. Espresso brownies. There may not be anything “desert” about this dessert (have you ever noticed how often people get the spelling of these two words mixed up?), but we were pleasantly surprised by this “light” brownie I whipped up one night after dinner. As you know, I’m a firm believer in not doing desserts the healthy way, but after polishing off a box of Good ‘n Plentys and a bag of peanut butter M&Ms after the first couple of nights, we thought maybe going light wouldn’t be such a bad idea, and these brownies from Cooking Light did not disappoint. Then again, how healthy is it when a pan of brownies is eaten by three people in two days? Probably not very.

1. Grapefruits the size of volleyballs. My parents have a tree growing in their front yard that was supposed to be a grapefruit tree and yet they found it to be yielding rather GIGANTIC fruit with yellowish, acne-scarred skin. My mother suspected the fruit to be pomelo, and after further research, she turned out to be 100% correct. Pomelo whaaa? I didn’t know what that was either. Here’s your mini clatter lesson du jour: The pomelo is a citrus fruit native to Southeast Asia that is related to the grapefruit that we all know and love, but it is much larger in size and much milder in taste. It’s a beast to deal with, with its thick layer of pith, but the peel is perfect to make candy…which is precisely what my mother did (and is currently doing in the kitchen as I write this). Think crystallized ginger but in a sweet citrus flavor instead. Brilliant. I can’t stop eating it.

There have certainly been other clatter-worthy experiences that could have made the list, but I had to draw the line somewhere. A squabble between my parents about how full to fill the waffle iron and a thought-provoking conversation about the phases of rock polishing just barely missed the cut. Take how interesting that topic sounds and divide it in half to know what I was dealing with (love you, Dad!).

I could really get used to writing outside like this (while drinking a "pomelo froth"), but something tells me it might not be realistic with the Portland weather. As much as I would like to savor this time, I must leave you now. This is clatter, desert edition, signing off.