The Big Egg(plant)

Greetings! I’m back and will try my best to restore your eight long, empty days of clatter-less living. Please excuse my absence - I think that my fun-filled weekend of overindulgence in food and beverage around the city with an out-of-town guest took its toll on clatter’s punctual postings. I know that my longer than expected recovery from the weekend is at least, in part, due to the fact that I'm still trying to get over: 1) the absurdity of the dollhouse-size food proportions at Urban Farmer of the ever pretentious (but still kinda cool) Nines Hotel downtown. Please take note: their $5 slider (as in singular – not sliders) is not a misprint. It’s one measly, miniature burger. For $5. On the happy hour menu. Needless to say, I will never make that mistake again. and 2) the absolute delight of my second trip to The Big Egg food cart on Mississippi Avenue on Sunday for brunch. All weekend I had looked forward to eating that satiable breakfast wrap I had a couple of months ago, but upon arriving at the cart, I read the most dreaded words of all: "Breakfast Wrap. Sold Out." How quickly tragedy can turn to triumph though, because that Monte Cristo I was then forced to order was somethin' else (and I mean the good kind). I’m already stressing about which of the two I’m going to order next time.

Back in the clatter kitchen (and feeling that urge to cook after a weekend of spending too much money not), I was excited on Monday night and knew exactly what I was going to do. You know that slightly uncomfortable situation when you accidentally lock eyes with a stranger and can't quite look away? Well, that’s what happened to me last week at the grocery store. With the eggplant. My eyes accidentally spotted it and I found myself staring at it and it stared right back at me. I knew at that very moment that my clatter world would never be the same. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it at the time of purchase, but all weekend as I gallivanted around Portland, I periodically thought about that neglected eggplant, sitting in my kitchen, begging to be used. On Monday night, I knew it was time.

I’d be lying if I told you that I thought up an eggplant quesadilla entirely on my own, because I actually came across the concept when I started poking around food52.com yesterday during my lunch break to get some ideas. However, the similarities between the recipe I found on food52 and mine begin and end with the roasted eggplant and tortillas. After some soul searching (or maybe just daydreaming away my day job), I came up with the following yesterday afternoon and raced home as fast as I could to try it...

AR’s roasted eggplant quesadilla with smoked paprika dipping sauce
half of eggplant, chopped into small cubes
clove of garlic, minced
two to three tablespoons of olive oil
salt and pepper
tortilla (I used TJ’s organic wheat flour and corn, which I happen to love)
chopped marinated artichoke hearts (be sure to save some of its oil)
crumbled chèvre (yeah, that’s goat cheese – chevre just sounds fancier)

Chop the eggplant into small cubes and throw them on a sprayed baking sheet (I used aluminum foil for a faster clean-up). Mince the garlic and add with olive oil in bowl. Pour over eggplant and make sure it’s well-tossed. Liberally salt and pepper. Roast in the oven in for about 25 minutes at 450 degrees until the eggplant begins to look dark and crispy on the outside (I think it’s still going to be a slightly mushy on the inside no matter what, so you’ll just have to deal with this.) Meanwhile, chop the marinated artichoke hearts and make the dipping sauce.

Combine in a bowl:
sour cream (you could also use mayonnaise, but I like the extra tang of the sour cream – plus mayo still grosses me out sometimes and I didn’t want to dip my quesadilla in it)
chopped flat leaf parsley
smoked paprika (use lots depending on how smoky you want it!)
freshly ground black pepper

Once the eggplant is done roasting, remove from oven and heat pan with cooking spray (or oil if you like your tortillas a little greasier) on medium high heat (I like to use my crepe pan when I make quesadillas). Add tortilla and assemble on one half a healthy portion of roasted eggplant, chopped marinated artichoke hearts and crumbled goat cheese. Drizzle the top with some oil from the artichokes and ground some black pepper over it. Fold the tortilla and cook both sides until golden brown. Cut in quarters and dip in that smoky sauce at your leisure.

Borrowing the famous words of my father when he’s describing a complex wine, “there’s a lot going on” with this quesadilla. You’ve got the crispiness of the tortilla, the tang and creaminess of the goat cheese, the acidity of the marinated artichokes, the smokiness of the paprika, the freshness of the parsley, and.... the BLAH of the eggplant. In my humble assessment of my recipe, its overall success comes not from the eggplant, but from every other component other than the eggplant (duh - you can’t go wrong with artichokes and goat cheese!). Perhaps it was my own fault to try and mask the alleged “natural flavor” of the eggplant by roasting the garlic with it, but I still remain unconvinced that it would have made that much difference had I stuck to just olive oil and salt and pepper.

For those of you who like roasted garlic, you should definitely include it in this, as it gives the eggplant (and thus the quesadilla) more depth. For me, however, a couple of bites of that strong roasted garlic flavor only brought back painful memories of my Friday night at Pambiche* when I took a big bite of a mushroom…only to find (via my gag reflex) that it was not a mushroom at all. No no, it was one fatty clove of roasted garlic. In this clatter adventure of mine, not only am I discovering the best of foods and ingredients out there, I’m also unearthing those things I never knew about myself. Turns out I don’t like the flavor of roasted garlic. At all. Folks, you heard it here first. And speaking of things I don’t really like…

After eating eggplant several times before and now cooking with it for the first time, I can finally state without reserve: I just don’t get it. Eggplant has officially joined my “what’s the point of eating it?” category (if the eggplant and tofu aren’t friends already, they should be!). However, if you find my eggplant evaluation lacks in value, by all means, try to convince me otherwise! I’d love to taste something delectable with eggplant in it - and I don’t mean putting it with a bunch of other favorite ingredients to hide its true nature either. Give me something where I can taste the eggplant for all that it is (or isn’t). But until I can swoon over someone else's eggplant concoction, I will continue my love affair with the real egg, because as of now, our future together looks much more promising.


*I would write a review about said Cuban cuisine, but I was properly taught that if I can't say something nice…