It's Not Easy Being Green

I’ve never had a lot of sympathy for Kermit the Frog. Sure, “having to spend each day the color of leaves” has its downside, but the guy still has it pretty good. After all, when a manic, high maintenance lady pig treats you like a god, how bad could it be?

Personally, I pity a different kind of green living thing. I present to you the world’s worst-sounding edible plant:



Picking up a few fruits and veggies after work at my favorite local “farm”, I did a double take when I saw this sign. Wild pig weed? What? That sounds disgusting. Obviously I grabbed a bunch immediately – I couldn’t wait to try it!

As soon as I got home, I got on the Internet to do some research on said greens. I was amazed by how little information my Google search rendered, but I gathered enough to learn that pigweed is actually one word, not two (shame on you, Kruger Farms!) and that it is often prepared as cooked spinach would be – boiled, steamed, or sautéed. After nibbling on a couple of the leaves, I decided that I didn’t want to cook it; I want to eat it raw. On the tongue, the pigweed gives something less peppery than arugula and less bitter than dandelion greens. It could easily be mistaken for watercress, both in flavor and appearance. Maybe it’s just me, but the wild pigweed tastes an awful lot like…spring.

Could clatter be blazing a trail here? When the next person’s interest is piqued by a sign that says “wild pigweed” and he googles it, will clatter provide him all the answers about this mysterious leafy green? Of course not, but he will learn one important thing about me: I’ll take wild pigweed over Miss Piggy any day. She’s all yours, Kermie.