Spring Cleaning

I’ve become a disgrace.

My laundry basket is overflowing with dirty clothes and towels. The bottom of my oven is caked with something that smokes and sets off my fire alarm. My walk-in closet has lost its “walk-in" feature. My stack of magazines presents an ungodly sight. My Christmas tree is still sitting on my balcony, for Pete’s sake. What the heck is going on? At times like these, I need someone to get in my face and scream a la Jillian on The Biggest Loser to some contestant about to collapse on the treadmill, “Allison, get it together!” (Side note: I once almost fell off a treadmill, and that was without someone yelling at me to keep going. It was very traumatic.)

Sure, I’ve been busy. There have been weddings to attend (wedding gown steaming and chauffeuring obnoxious drunk lawyers have both been added to my skill set; legitimate dance moves still have not), an out-of-town guest, a pseudo-Oscar party, spinning classes, work as usual, blah blah blah. Even so, I feel like my priorities and thoughts are all out of whack because 1) my apartment looks like a hurricane hit, and 2) I’ve had very little interest in cooking. As you may expect, number two is especially concerning for me. I may have whipped up some flaky scones for my guest and lovely hors d’oeuvres for the Oscars, but since then, my cooking (or lack thereof) has been a sad state of affairs. If you saw the lame lunches I brought to work this week, you would look at me, with sad puppy dog eyes and say, “Allison, I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.” You and me both, my friend. You and me both.

Well fear not folks, because now that I’ve recognized that I’m off my game, I’m determined to get it back. Spring might officially still be a couple of weeks away, but I am taking it upon myself to declare it early because frankly, I can’t take the rain anymore! (Of course if you live in the Northwest, you know that spring gives us just as much rain as winter…)

Allow me to share my declarations for a brighter immediate future: I will line up my shoes perfectly in my closet. I will scrub the crud off the bottom of the oven. I will rifle through some of those food magazines and find some recipes to try this week. I will make a grocery list. I will do as many loads of laundry as it takes to stop the overflow. I will throw my Christmas tree off the balcony and hope it lands in the dumpster below instead of on an innocent bystander. And then, I will relax with a cup of tea (let’s be honest, it will be a glass of red wine) and a book because believe it or not, I’m also a little behind on my next clatter selection.

We’ve got the list. Now for the follow-through….. Ready, set, go!