Instant Gratification

I've been reluctant to report on something that I've become a fan of because frankly, I feel a little ashamed by it. Then again, what’s a blog if not an avenue to expose all my deepest and darkest secrets to the world?

It all started when I went to Starbucks. Duh duh duh.

I had tragically run out of coffee beans and needed my usual morning jolt to get me through the day. The Starbucks up the street from my apartment was the obvious choice because I’d still be able to get my java and make it to work early enough as to avoid putting my boss into a tizzy. Whenever I buy coffee in the morning (which isn’t very often), I usually keep it simple with an Americano or a drip. But something about that morning’s crisp October air had me thinking one thing: pumpkin spice latte. I have a number of friends who are obsessed with this drink; as far as they’re concerned, autumn hasn’t arrived until Starbucks puts this seasonal beverage on the menu. To them, it only becomes socially acceptable to start playing Christmas music once the red Starbucks cups hit the stores.

I’m not one of those people – I don’t let Starbucks dictate the seasons. In fact, I don’t let Starbucks take any hold on me whatsoever. Well, except that as much as I would love to blame it on my Peets’ heritage and consider myself the ultimate anti-Starbuck, here’s the thing: sometimes I like Starbucks. And on that particular morning, I liked it for an even more despicable reason than pumpkin spice lattes or red holiday cups.

As I stood in line to order, a barista carrying a tray approached me and asked if I’d like to try a sample of their mocha VIA Ready Brew coffee, a.k.a. INSTANT COFFEE. If anything’s got a stigma in the world of coffee, it’s instant coffee. That’s not even real coffee, is it? Well, turns out this is, and with the subtle sweetener added to it, VIA was surprisingly delicious. I felt a little guilty for enjoying the sample, but then it got worse: the barista at the register told me my drink would be free if I bought a box of VIA Ready Brew, containing six individual packets of coffee. I quickly did the math in my head. Hey, I thought, this isn’t such a bad deal. If each cup of coffee tasted like the one I just had, it would totally be worth it; it might be good to get out of my afternoon, pick-me-up tea and Jolly Rancher rut.

Once I accepted the barista’s offer, I felt as if I had just made a deal with the devil. My God, had I sent Alfred Peet rolling in his grave? This wasn’t just Starbucks coffee I was purchasing, this was Starbucks instant coffee. What happened to me!? Had my love for good coffee lost its luster? Quite possibly. On second thought, is it so bad to have such an intense "I want coffee, and I want it now" response that I'm willing to let my snootiness fall to the wayside every now and again? I don’t think it is. Now that I've got a stash in the top drawer of my office desk, coffee is just seconds away whenever I’m feeling my sharp legal mind waning. That’s definitely something my clients would appreciate.

Before I close, please allow me to divulge one more thing in the interest of full disclosure: I’m writing this at Starbucks! I might only be here because the internet isn’t being installed in my apartment until tomorrow. I could also be here because I’ve given up on my neighbors for good people watching. But none of that matters now – the damage is done. Whatever way I look at it though, I’m quite sure that I’m in a better place than the poor soul sitting at the table next to me. She’s got stress written across her brow as she pores over financial statements on her ThinkPad, which is under the guise of a MacBook. Hey lady, your Apple sticker ain’t foolin’ me! Well, maybe I’m not fooling anyone either. I’m enjoying my tall extra hot decaf soy latte, the tunes of James Taylor, and the wind-blown leaves outside the window of this corner table just as much as any regular Starbucks schmuck might. Not only that, I took much pleasure in pouring myself a sample of the caramel VIA (I hadn’t tried that flavor yet!) as I handed the kind barista my credit card. I also grabbed a $1 off coupon for my next VIA purchase. The display adjacent to the pastry case might be so big that I feel like it’s screaming at me, but it appears that Starbucks advertising the pants off of this product might be working, even on the likes of people like me. Now if only they’d put some of that effort in turning up the heat in this place – my fingers have turned to icicles.