The Art of Culinary Courtship

Single ladies (the few of you still out there), this post is for you. Of course the rest of you are welcome to continue reading too, but for entertainment purposes only.

Inviting a man friend* over for dinner for the first time can be stressful, especially when you have aspirations to show off your kitchen competence with minimal effort and to seamlessly strike that perfect balance between impressing him and not yet revealing all of your skills with a single meal (should you find yourself in a position where you can prepare him another at a later time!). A proper culinary courtship takes a good menu, poise, and a close attention to detail. Last night I proved to have lacked in two of these areas...but hey, at least I got the menu right!

As I have learned from Ina Garten, you should never serve a guest something that you haven’t made before. This is probably a principle I should regard as law, but sometimes I get a bit adventurous and lead myself astray. However, last night I decided to follow the good woman’s advice because I needed something I could rely on that would be quick and easy to throw together for an after-work, mid-week dinner date. Ladies, when in doubt, just remember this: kiss. No, I mean, well, you can do that too if the mood is right, but I meant the other kind. That is to say, keep it simple, stupid. And that's precisely what I did.

AR’s take on Ina’s linguine with shrimp scampi (if you don’t trust me (and I don’t wholly blame you), here’s the original to follow instead: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/linguine-with-shrimp-scampi-recipe2/index.html)

1/2 lb spaghetti (Trader Joes, how do you not carry linguine?!)
12 oz medium-sized shrimp (please double check that they are deveined even if the package says they are, so that you can refrain from engaging in a conversation with your date regarding a shrimp’s intestinal tract. Yep, we had one of those.)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves of garlic, minced (shrimp scampi is known for its garlicky-ness and Ina uses 4 cloves, but I think 2 is plenty)
1/4 cup chopped Italian parsley
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1 lemon, zested (you know how I feel about my zester, so I did extra!)
1 lemon, thinly sliced in half-rounds
kosher salt, freshly ground pepper, red chili flakes

Salt pot of water and cook pasta. Prep parsley, lemons (slices, juice, and zest), and garlic. Heat pan to melt butter and olive oil. Add the minced garlic over medium heat until fragrant. Cook the shrimp (season with salt and pepper), but just until pink (I beg you, don't overcook the shrimp! Tough shrimp is the worst!). Add the lemon juice, lemon slices, zest, parsley, a few chili flakes (for just a tad of heat) to the shrimp, then the al dente spaghetti, and toss thoroughly. Voila! So easy you can enjoy your date's company (and a glass of wine) while you prepare it.

For a well-balanced meal, I also threw together a salad:

AR’s Greek salad
romaine lettuce, chopped
kalamata olives, halved
grape tomatoes (I kept them whole because I thought it added more variety in shape and texture to the salad. This could potentially result in awkward squirting on your date should your fork strike it wrong. Remarkably I was able to avoid that on this particular occasion, but I might not be as lucky the next time.)
crumbled feta (the more, the betta!)
English cucumber, thinly sliced
red bell pepper, chopped
red onion, thinly sliced (but just a little – you don’t want it to overpower!)

Whisk together equal parts red wine vinegar and olive oil with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper and toss.


I recommend serving the shrimp pasta and salad with fresh crusty bread to soak up any of the lemony juices left on the plate (I bought TJ’s pugliese) and a crisp white wine. Also, please make sure to promptly take your ultra-chilled wine or sparkling water out of the freezer in order to avoid any startling subsequent explosions in the fridge whilst enjoying your dinner with your guest.....

Poise and attention to detail: I'm working on it.



*clatter takes anonymity very seriously and as such will not reveal the dinner guest’s name… However, if at any point he reads this and cares to reveal his own identity for purposes of praising the cook, that would be completely acceptable.